I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
