how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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