His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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