i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
