i was born a porn star she said
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
