You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
