I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize