Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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