Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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