I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize