i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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