you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
