her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
