Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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