I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
