so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
