i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
