How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When are your genitals available?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
