i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
