You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Alive.
So much puke
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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