And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
