I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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