So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
