So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
