hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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