The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
