I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
