Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
