I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize