the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
