It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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