He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
