We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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