Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This is my gift to your gina
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
