where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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