Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
