I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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