i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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