we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My breasts were aching with rage.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
