for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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