Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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