went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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