with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh god it's open bar.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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