and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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