How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
