Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
