I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
