life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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