it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
