My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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