I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
