ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
