I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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