if i can run in heels then i can drive
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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