I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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