Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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