so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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