She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
