you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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