Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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