so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
